THE DARKNESS OF LEADING

Part 2: Make the Way, Lead the Way, or Get the Heck Out of the Way

Let’s get something straight right out the gate: you are not a god. I know, tough pill to swallow. I’ve had to swallow it a few times myself—usually after a team member proves me wrong again and I’m left nodding like I planned it all along.

But here’s the problem with leadership: too many of us confuse “leading the way” with “making the way”. The result? A confused, exhausted, and slightly delusional manager dragging a team uphill while trying to build the road under their feet. With a coffee in one hand. And an unrealistic deadline in the other.

Let’s break it down like the old-school VHS training videos we all pretend to have never watched.

What (or Who) Is MAKING the Way?

It should be your mission. Your vision. The shared principles that everyone agreed on in a moment of clarity (or a strategic offsite with way too many PowerPoint slides). Not your mood. Not your gut. And certainly not the playlist you created during your mid-life crisis.

If you’re making the way as you go—based entirely on personal preference, caffeine levels, or TikTok trends—you’re not leading. You’re winging it. And when you wing it, people get hurt… usually emotionally, and often in Slack messages laced with passive-aggressive emojis.

Let the mission make the way. Your role? Bring it to life. (And maybe stop rewriting the mission statement every time Mercury goes into retrograde.)

What (or Who) Is LEADING the Way?

Here’s the ego punch: You are. Like it or not, they’re watching you. Your actions, your decisions, how you respond when everything’s on fire and IT is still asking if you tried restarting your computer.

You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be consistent. That means:

• Lead through the chaos, not from it.

• Guide with values, not just KPI dashboards.

• Show up when it’s hard, not just when it’s headline-worthy.

The goal isn’t to invent leadership. It’s to embody it. So, please—for the love of psychological safety—quit trying to be the hero in every story. Be the guide. Be the structure. Be the calm voice in the meeting that starts with “Okay, I know this looks bad, but…”

What (or Who) Is IN the Way?

Spoiler alert: it’s not “them.” It’s probably… well, you. Or the system you’re not fixing. Or the unspoken expectations you keep tiptoeing around.

• Your team’s resistance? That’s culture feedback.

• Their lack of engagement? A red flag, not a personality trait.

• Constant bottlenecks? That’s your org chart laughing at you.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t they just figure it out?”—congrats, you’ve momentarily become the problem. And yes, I’ve been there too. (Usually after saying, “Just use common sense,” and watching it backfire like a 1992 Ford Escort.)

You want to change what’s “in the way”? Start with:

• Delegating to develop, not just offload.

• Prioritizing talent-building over task-chasing.

• Making career growth a two-way conversation, not a guilt trip.

Leadership isn’t just what you say—it’s what you tolerate, reinforce, ignore, or excuse.

So yeah, it’s dark. It’s messy. But it’s also the greatest honor if you’re willing to lead without needing to be the center of attention. Let the path guide you. Lead others through it. And when needed, have the humility to get out of the way.