Complaining… WTF Are We Doing!?

Complaining…let’s call it what it is: the lazy cousin of problem-solving. It’s the reaction that sneaks out when we’re unprepared, and instead of fixing anything, it just shrinks your world and hijacks your perspective.

Sure, you might have plenty of “good” reasons to complain about your boss, your spouse, that driver who thinks their blinker is optional. But let’s be honest: when was the last time your complaint actually made things better? Yeah…crickets.

Unless you’re a comedian. Then complaining can be career gold, get on stage, make people laugh, and boom, now you’re Kevin Hart. Outside of comedy though? Complaining is just noise. It’s Dad groaning after stepping on a LEGO. It’s your coworker griping about traffic before they’ve even had coffee. It’s…boring.

But here’s the kicker: not all complaints are created equal.

• The uncontrollable stuff—traffic, weather, crowds. You can’t do squat about it. All you can do is shift focus back to what is in your control.

• The controllable stuff—your health, your skills, your mindset. These are signals. They’re basically your brain yelling, “Hey! Fix this!”

So the real question is: are you going to waste energy throwing complaints into the wind, or are you going to use them as fuel?

Thinking Creates Patterns & Realities

Here’s the dirty secret about complaining: it’s not about the situation. It’s about your thinking.

Complaints come from your “head movies.” Those old, dusty scripts running on repeat in your brain. And here’s the trippy part, most of your thoughts today came from the way you thought yesterday. Which means you’re basically living inside reruns of your own brain. WTF!?

The good news? You can change the channel. The brain isn’t your prison guard, it’s a tool. You can rewrite the script. Like Nisargadatta Maharaj said:

“Isn’t it the mind that translates the outer condition into happiness and suffering?”

Translation: life is what your brain says it is. If your autopilot mode is “complain first, think later,” then guess what, you’ve been outsourcing your happiness to the cheapest bidder.

But here’s the breakthrough: you are not your autopilot thoughts. When you take back the wheel, you start building better patterns. Patterns that keep you moving forward instead of stuck. Patterns that turn “ugh, I hate this” into “okay, here’s what I can do.”

And trust me, people who learn to control their autopilot? They don’t just complain less. They win more.

Never Complain About the Same Thing Twice

Here’s a rule worth living by: Never complain about the same thing twice.

Why? Because the first complaint was venting. The second one? That’s just a loop. That’s like rewatching a bad movie hoping the ending changes.

Instead of replaying the rant, get curious. Ask better questions:

• “Why did this happen?”

• “What’s my part in it?”

• “What can I try differently next time?”

Just don’t fall into the trap of lazy answers. “Because they’re an idiot” isn’t insight, it’s just another complaint wearing a fake mustache.

Be curious. Get creative. Solve it. But don’t let the same complaint rent space in your head twice. Rent’s too high for that BS.

Your Thinking Has a Heavy Impact on Relationships

Now, let’s talk about the ripple effect.

Picture the last complainer you were stuck listening to. Did they light up the room? Did they make you feel energized? Or did you slowly feel your soul leave your body while they complained about traffic, Becky from accounting, or the price of gas?

Complaining drains people. Period. Even when it’s “just venting.” It forces everyone around you to either nod along (and quietly die inside) or risk conflict by pushing back. Neither one makes relationships stronger.

So ask yourself: WTF kind of atmosphere am I building? One that feels safe, fun, motivating? Or one that makes people avoid me like I’m the human version of a bad Yelp review?

Turning Complaints into Fuel

The truth is, complaints aren’t harmless—they’re steering the ship whether you realize it or not. So if you’re going to put that much energy into something, why not turn it into fuel?

Here’s how:

• Celebrate Small Wins – Every time you shut down a complaint and take action, call it a win. Momentum loves recognition.

• Practice Self-Compassion – Don’t turn self-complaints into self-attacks. Notice the signal and turn it into a step forward.

• Gratitude Practice – Complaints starve when gratitude shows up. Replace “what’s wrong” with “what’s right.”

• Reflect and Learn – When you do feel the urge to complain, pause. Ask yourself: “Okay, but what’s the lesson?”

At the end of the day, complaining is either a weight you drag around—or it’s the spark that kicks you forward.

So next time you feel the urge to complain, stop and ask yourself: WTF am I doing with this? Am I feeding the noise…or am I building momentum?